pride & humility

today on the way to work i felt impressed to listen to the talk "beware of pride," written for a conference of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints by a prophet named ezra taft benson in 1989. i've been impacted by this text previously in my life, particularly as a missionary, and it had been a while since i had read it. it really kicked my butt this morning by helping me to emerge from a wedding-planning-self-absorbed bubble of pride i've realized i'm in.

since these words were very impactful for me, i thought it a good idea to share. 

the proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. in the words of c. s. lewis: “pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … it is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.”

the proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of god’s judgment.“what will men think of me?” weighs heavier than “what will god think of me?” fear of men’s judgment manifests itself in competition for men’s approval. the proud love “the praise of men more than the praise of god.” ...would we not do well to have the pleasing of god as our motive rather than to try to elevate ourselves above our brother and outdo another?

selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. “how everything affects me” is the center of all that matters—self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking.

the scriptures testify that the proud are easily offended and hold grudges. they withhold forgiveness to keep another in their debt and to justify their injured feelings. the proud do not receive counsel or correction easily. defensiveness is used by them to justify and rationalize their frailties and failures. 

god will have a humble people. either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble. [the book of mormon prophet] alma said, “blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble.” let us choose to be humble.

i am committed to choosing to be humble and being superior to my former self. 


i am so excited

the other day, i found myself in the middle of a vortex of pure excitement...

i was just feverish thinking about all the happy things ahead, starting of course with I AM GETTING MARRIED IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! the excitement tornado whirled with i-just-know-they-are-going-to-be-oh-so-lovely wedding details, the tickling joyful anticipation of seeing my family and friends, envisioning tender and sacred and beautiful moments at different wedding events, looking forward to celebrating in texas and california without having to worry about any of the details, the small satisfying victories of our new apartment coming together, the soonness of living with my best friend who is also my lover, oh my gosh i think my wedding dress is so pretty, a lineup of plane tickets to kauai for a belated honeymoon and the east coast for christmas, discussions about where we are going to live next and future adventures, and oh yeah, remember how the autumn and then the holidays are coming??? i am excited to get on a plane for our wedding, to walk hand in hand to the salt lake temple with the boy on the morning of october ninth, to run away with him that night, to be surrounded by the people that we love most and have overflowing gratitude for, to dance and eat macarons at our wedding reception, to come home to our apartment together, to stock our kitchen with wedding gifts, to wake up to my favourite person every day, to start our colorful, devoted life together. i also can't wait to have breakfast with my sisters the morning of our wedding, and to take pictures with my bridesmaids, and to get my hair done, and to run through a tunnel of sparklers and gosh just a million other things that i could spend all night listing. i am just so so so so so excited. in that intense whirlwind of excitement, and other amazing slivers of time, i feel so happy that i'm all melty and molten and almost dizzy. i mean, the last few months of two thousand fourteen are going to be really fantastic. i never want to forget those buzzes of pure, pure, pure excitement - i don't that particular brand will ever come again.

now - on to sending positive vibes to the universe that there will be good weather our wedding weekend. please, please, please. i just remembered that movie i loved seeing last year, about time (highly recommended). it starts pouring on their wedding day, and the bride throws her head back, laughs and just loooooves it, and then all the guests have a genuinely excellent time getting soaked. later, she says she wouldn't change a thing about the day. i'm feeling pretty confident that i will be able to embrace whatever kind of disasters come along on the celebration days (surely there will be some), but i'm not sure i'd be quite as good at relishing the rain as that bride! please be the loveliest - crisp but balmy - autumn day...pretty please!

it's the final countdown! i feel a little crazy...but mostly in a good way.
the future is exciting. yeah!


straight from heaven

on sunday, i got to go experience a little taste of heaven in my beloved friend abby's brand new baby boy.

catherine and i went to the hospital to meet the tiny, perfect boy right before i had to go to the airport to fly back to california.

i have to say, i have incredible timing with my dearest friend's babies being born. cath and abby have four kids between them, and i've met all four of them within 50 or so hours of their births, even though i live in a different state! (and have had similar good timing with other friends). it has just always worked out just perfect so i could be there soon after birth, and gosh it is just the sweetest, sweetest thing to be with my friends that are like sisters and their babies. it really feels like heaven. {here, here, and here are my other experiences meeting catherine and abby's babies}

i am so grateful for these friends. abby was induced so baby boy would come in time for her family to settle in a bit before my wedding. catherine had a super long engagement so that i could get home from my mission and be at her wedding. we just have this deep, rich bond that requires involvement in huge life milestones :) i love these women (and their growing families!) so so so much. 
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